I'm not sure why Sweetiepoo thinks I can't handle grocery shopping. Just because there was that one time she asked me to get her a box of penn…

Life was complicated enough when I had to talk with people. Now, I have to talk with inanimate objects, too. It used to be that was grounds fo…

Sweetiepoo decided to take me on a vacation this week. As soon as it's over, I'm going to need to plan another vacation to get over this one.

  • Updated

So I took a vacation. I know immediately the thought that came to your mind: "From what? You don't do anything."

  • Updated

Someone told me the Olympics are over. Thank goodness. My DVR was running out of reruns I'd already seen five times.

  • Updated

Mankind has and will continue to be caused to take pause and reflect on great philosophical matters throughout his existence. Fortunately, Fat…

  • Updated

The great thing about having a column be a finalist in the Tennessee Press Association's Best Humor Column category is that it allows me to re…

  • Updated

My five-year-old niece, Little Turtle, has been on a room-cleaning kick. I'm not sure what prompted the change, seeing as how, from the time s…

  • Updated

I've never stayed in a bed and breakfast before. Actually, that's not true. Momma and Daddy gave me a bed and Momma gave us all breakfast, so …

Beware: All that glitters is not Wonka's Golden Ticket. Sometimes, it may look like Wonka's Golden Ticket, smell like Wonka's Golden Ticket, w…

  • Updated

If you're of the opinion that kids today don't care enough to take a stand on the important issues, I'm here to tell you that depends on your …

Roman Polanski's famous private eye thriller, "Chinatown," is one of my favorite movies. It begs the philosophical question of where to draw t…

Latest e-Edition

  • Updated

I'd agreed to watch the house and the menagerie of animals within it while my friend, K., was away this weekend because (a) I'm ignorant, and …

I’ve found in my long association with my five-year-old niece, Little Turtle, that if you want her to do something, you should tell her to do …

  • Updated

When my girlfriend, Sweetiepoo, suggested, "Let's get Wawa," I answered, "I don't want water. I want a coffee and something to eat."

My five-year-old niece, Little Turtle, either doesn't know how to properly run a race or how to properly cheat. I haven't quite figured out wh…

  • Updated

It's a sure sign someone really loves you and cares about you deeply when they totally ignore you.

  • Updated

At first, I thought my friend was joking when she said Monday was National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day. Turns out she was not only serious,…

  • Updated

My practical knowledge of economics lies somewhere between Nobel Prize-winning theory and "If I buy two burgers on the Value Menu, do I get fr…

My girlfriend, Sweetiepoo, was nervous about meeting my older sister, Ray, for the first time. Then, she actually met Ray and got mad at herse…

  • Updated

I'm not sure if you're familiar with the concept of a girlfriend, so let me explain it: Imagine taking your conscience, merging it with a stro…

  • Updated

I always knew the time would come when my five-year-old criminal genius niece, Little Turtle, would decide I'm expendable. But, she did use he…

My five-year-old niece, Little Turtle, is not very good at doing laundry. She's good at creating laundry - and then scattering it across the f…

Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Twitter